(How to exist authentically in a hyper-social world)
Today I’m thinking about introversion, and connection. Especially after COVID and lock-down, I’ve realised just how introverted I am—and potentially many other people are too. I’m genuinely comfortable just staying home. I enjoy reading a book, writing, watching films, or playing video games on my phone. I prefer this to going out. Being an actor, I often come across as extroverted, but that’s not always the case.
Right now, I’m outside in a park surrounded by flies and nature. My partner and a few people who know me will probably laugh because they know I’m not particularly outdoorsy. But that’s simply because—I don’t know—I suppose it’s just not my thing. Right now, though, I’m walking around because I’ve missed exercising. After injuring my leg, I need to take things slowly. Walking felt like the next right step. I can see bunnies running around. It’s beautiful—honestly, it’s beautiful. I might even take a picture-(PS: I forgot to take a picture).
So, how does this tie into what I’m thinking about? Well, as I mentioned, I realised how introverted I was after lock-down. Sometimes I even feel guilty for needing space. This includes space even from people I deeply care about. But I genuinely want to be in my own zone. I’m finding that walks like this, going to the park, help me process my thoughts and feelings.
My daughter had wanted to come with me today. I wouldn’t have minded if she had joined. However, I’m somewhat glad she didn’t. I want to make evening walks my routine—a time to clear my thoughts. Evening works best for me at the moment. Mornings are usually busy because I help my kids with their studies and other tasks.
It’s tricky navigating introversion in a world that’s constantly hyper-social, where everyone seems to always want connection. When someone messages me asking if I’m available to chat, I often struggle. This especially happens when there’s an expectation to reply quickly. For instance, last week, someone emailed me about a job asking me to call them back. I tried to ring them, but their line was busy. It still took me around two or three hours from seeing the email to responding. This was simply because I didn’t want to reply immediately.
In my previous blog, I talked about not feeling pressured to respond instantly. We used to wait much longer for replies via email. Now, especially on WhatsApp, people can see when you were last online. They can also see if you’ve checked their message. Or notice that you’re online and wonder why you’re not responding. They might not realise you are on another call or checking something else.
Sometimes, I feel like I should pretend to be available. This is difficult because I genuinely need time to think about how I want to respond. It’s challenging to find the right balance. With certain people, I don’t mind replying quickly because it doesn’t require much thought. Ultimately, it depends on what they’re asking.
That’s where my thoughts are today. It’s important to take the time to figure out your mental space and allow yourself that freedom. So yeah, that’s what’s on my mind.