In this week’s blog, I reflect on how burn-out, fear, and missed opportunities led me to rediscover my purpose. And why taking time to reflect on your life and passions is essential.
Learning Through Letting Go
I’ve often thought that life was about just getting on with what’s in front of me. But lately, I’ve realised that I’ve been avoiding something bigger—my own purpose. I’ve been listening to the audio book, Business Secrets from the Bible by Rabbi Daniel Lapin. It’s reshaped how I think about business, life, and my sense of purpose.
This past week, I stepped away from a company I had worked with for a long time. It was on a freelance basis and I would say 70% of the time was unpaid. But it wasn’t a snap decision. Thing is, I have been studying mental health first aid and advocacy in the workplace course. And one of the exercises required creating a Wellness Action Plan. It was a moment that forced me to pause and look at myself honestly.
The Wake-Up Call
Through that exercise, I realised—and reaffirmed—that my well-being has often not been at it’s base level. I’ve gone through depression and experienced burn-out. And I’ve noticed how stress starts and shapes the way I live and work. Many of my career decisions have been reactions to those pressures. In focusing so much on career goals, I lost my creative self: the actor, the writer, the dancer.
Instead, I poured myself into helping others build their dream projects and goals. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t do it out of resentment. If anything, I thought I was building the skills I needed to eventually pursue my own goals. But in doing that, I forgot to check in with myself. After every project I worked on, I never stopped to ask: what are my goals? Where do I go from here?
Underdeveloped Dreams and Unspoken Fears
When I finally sat down to reflect on my own creative projects, they felt underdeveloped, even forgotten. I felt like I wasn’t ready to go it alone. And it wasn’t because I lacked skill, but because I had rarely made space for myself. I kept producing incomplete ideas, which only deepened my fear of going solo.
Listening to Rabbi Lapin’s book made me realise that I’ve never truly given myself the time to reflect. I never asked how each skill or experience could support my life, not just someone else’s.
The Pressure to Be Practical
Over the past year, I’ve been focused on finding a permanent role—because I want to buy a house. And that meant focusing on job stability. It made sense then and still does now. But I never paused to ask if the role I was pursuing actually aligned with what I love doing. Looking back, by that point, I was already burnt out. There was no financial security, and I was unsure if I could return to my creative self.
So, I rushed into applying for jobs—”day jobs” that offered income but little fulfilment. I kept telling myself they were stepping stones. But now I see I wasn’t thinking long-term. I wasn’t asking if they would sustain me beyond the next pay day.
A Passion Reawakened
I’ve always been good at helping others pursue their dreams. I give advice, offer encouragement, and I genuinely love doing it. But I rarely take my own advice. And I’m realising how much I miss that passion I used to feel.
Producing work made me realise I actually enjoy the financial side of things. I used to hate handling finances and budgets on productions. But I now see that I’ve always cared about how money works—budgeting, planning, tracking in my personal life. I just didn’t make the connection between that personal interest and how it could support my career.
Rabbi Lapin’s words helped me understand that you can, and should, apply your passions to your work. Your life experience holds clues to what you’re good at. It shows what lights you up. It also shows how you can build a career around it.
Reflection Isn’t Optional—It’s Necessary
I’m learning that it’s okay to pause. To breathe. To let yourself feel. And I won’t lie—thinking about missed opportunities still hurts. I used to be so passionate about my work that others were inspired by it. And somehow, I let that part of me fade.
But I’m not angry. I’m grateful. Because this reflection is part of the process. I can use this moment to move forward and to become the person—and parent—I want to be. I now understand why I had to go through what I did.
So, before you chase your next big goal, take a moment. Allow yourself to reflect on what you’ve learned. Ask yourself what you truly care about. Let that be your compass.
Related Post: Mental Health and Taking Breaks
Book Mentioned: Business Secrets from the Bible by Rabbi Daniel Lapin
