It’s interesting when we think about digital age loneliness. Despite countless tools available to stay connected with everyone around us or across the world, we still feel lonely. We continue to experience a sense of hollowness and a lack of genuine connection with others.
The Fading Connections and Relationships
I don’t know why we feel more disconnected than ever. Or is it just me? I find myself feeling increasingly disconnected from many people unless there have been physically close for many years. Once someone moves to a different part of the world or city. Or once they’re no longer directly involved in my daily life, the connection often fades. Unless something specifically drives the friendship or relationship, digital tools like WhatsApp aren’t enough for me to maintain those relationships. And I’ve found myself missing these connections.
Changing Means of Communication
Part of the disconnect comes from thinking, “I know I’m leaving, but we’ll keep in touch.” Years ago, we had pen-pals and would write letters to people across the world to share updates. Later, telephones became the norm, and we’d arrange specific times to speak. Love and connection thrived through physical mail and letters.
Now, even emails, which once replaced letters, have become predominantly work-focused. They’re mostly about tasks and efficiency, no longer about connecting with people for fun.
Social media initially offered a new way to connect. Platforms like MySpace, Bebo, Hi5, or MSN required you to wait for someone to go online before speaking with them. But today, we instantly send messages and anxiously await immediate responses, adding pressure to reply quickly. There’s a sense that we must respond immediately, even if we haven’t fully considered our responses. The immediacy has replaced the patience and excitement of waiting for a reply.
The Paradox of Constant Connectivity
We now have numerous ways of connecting and countless opportunities to reach people. And yet we still feel the loneliness. Perhaps it’s linked to our generation (-millennial mostly), growing up in this ever-evolving digital landscape. Sometimes I find myself thinking about how I never used to rush to respond. I’d eagerly wait to talk to someone after school. Which was only after finishing chores or homework of course. I would have to ask for permission to use the phone – ask the bill payer and all that.
Today, when driving long distances, I often feel the urge to call someone. But then I start to wonder who I genuinely feel comfortable speaking with. Often, I realise that I usually just message these people via text, and not talk to them directly. Messaging feels less confrontational, more passive. While peaking directly creates a different energy, a different vibe.
Have you ever felt that? When this happens to me, sometimes I choose to listen to music. I also drive in complete silence because it feels comforting.
Urgency Vs Slowing Down to Reconnect
The ease and constant availability of communication have paradoxically left us feeling more disconnected. We’ve lost the eagerness and excitement of waiting to hear from someone. Instead, we’re often disappointed when we don’t receive immediate replies. There’s an unnecessary urgency now.
It’s important to slow down. It’s okay if someone doesn’t immediately respond to your WhatsApp message. It’s fine to send a personal email or even a letter.
When was the last time you emailed a friend just to see how they’re doing? Do you even have your friends’ personal emails anymore, or are they reserved solely for subscriptions, social media, and jobs? Remember when your email tag was – “inmyownworld@…”?
When did you last send a physical letter to someone’s postal address just to check in? If I was to write a letter, this is what it will say. “Hey, this form of communication still works! Shocking! I had to go to the post office and get stamps. Do you know what a postal stamp looks like now? Or how much it costs? Anyway, speak with you soon. Love…“
Final Thoughts
The evolution of the digital age affects how we communicate and socialise. While it’s beneficial in many ways, it also disconnects us from genuine emotional interactions. Our communications have become more purposeful rather than leisurely.
We’re losing the simple joy of reaching out just for fun. We no longer do it for personal connection. Instead, we do social media to display how we’re doing. It does have ‘social’ in it.
So I guess that’s okay, right?
