Embracing Sunday as a Day for Journaling
So every Sunday, I like to journal. Since I decided to start this new adventure—this new venture of writing a blog—this space is where I jot down my thoughts and process how I’m getting on with my life. I realised that if I’m using technology, I might as well use it fully, and that includes journaling via voice notes. It’s easier to say what you’re thinking than to write it down, because when you’re writing, there’s a whole technical process of finding the right words. When you speak, you’re saying it in real time, processing as you go, and there’s no time to overthink. Then I can just take the transcript of this voice note and use that as my journal.
Rediscovering the Writer in Me
So here I am on a Sunday, using this fantastic opportunity to say what I’m thinking. I want to share why I started a blog. I miss writing so much. Sometimes, when I read back on things I’ve written, I’m amazed by it—I’m inspired by it—and yet somehow, it feels like a long, long time ago. It feels like the writer of those works isn’t me. The person speaking right now doesn’t feel like that same writer.
The Trap of Commercialising Creativity
I guess along the way, I forgot what makes me happy when I create: whether it’s making art, acting, writing, or even watching something for inspiration. I became very corporate and commercial in how I used art to express myself. It became more of a challenge or a job. People say if you do what you love, you’ll never feel like you’re working, and I understand why they say that. But I also feel that the moment you start making money from something you love, you start to lose a piece of yourself—the part that created art purely for expression. Once it becomes commercial, there’s an expectation: you must do this, you must complete that, and you must outdo the last thing you created. That’s horrible and horrifying. How many artists have lost themselves because they couldn’t pull themselves out of that hole?
Gratitude for My Past Self
I’m grateful I realised this. I’m grateful I used to write so much—I have so many journals and so many stories to tell. Even though I don’t recognise that person, I’m inspired and impressed by who I was back then. The stories were endless, and I always thought I wanted to write the perfect story, but there’s no such thing. We write our own stories because we understand what we’re writing—creative people recognise a connection in what they create, but that doesn’t mean it’s for everyone.
Feeling Lost in a Rapidly Changing World
I still feel a bit lost, still trying to understand how I fit into all this. With technology advancing so much—AI and all these new tools—it’s easy to feel useless or wonder, “What’s the point?” But you can’t take that away from an artist. You can’t take away creativity because there’s something different in how we create. I might be rambling here, but hey, you’re listening too, right?
Reclaiming What’s Mine
There’s so much I still don’t understand, yet I still want to. Being someone who loves to tell stories, I feel like I needed to tell a different one—how I feel about fitting in, how I feel about creating things for myself. It’s time to be selfish again. I feel like that’s the only way to get back to where I was. I please others when it doesn’t give me that satisfaction of proving myself anymore. Why should I prove myself to anyone when I’m creating for me? I make art for me, I write for me, I act so I can live a belief in something. I admire believing in this voice note—using it to journal how I’m thinking and feeling—because in this moment, I can express myself fully and think through my thoughts, believing in myself for just a short time.
Looking Ahead Together
So who am I in this world? I’ll figure it out. I know I will, and I look forward to the day you’ll be there with me to figure it out too. We’re in this together.
